26A – Celebrating Failure

When I moved out of my home, I wanted to turn myself around in terms of cleanliness. I was never going to leave my towels on the floor again. I would do all my laundry every week by myself. I would keep the trash in check. I did pretty well in my dorm - so well I hated coming home to my room because it wasn't as neat as the little space in my dorm that was perfectly organized. (It is a lot easier to organize things when you don't have much, so organization at home would be a full-time job itself).

When quarantine struck and I moved out of my dorm (because who wants to be in a ghost town of a dorm?) I made a terrible mistake. My brother explained he had difficulty sleeping in his room because he had to sleep on a twin bed. He asked if he could have the queen bed in my room to sleep on. Honestly, I don't care about the size of the bed. I much preferred the over-priced (but quality) twin mattresses in the guest room, so I didn't see why not let my brother use the queen bed at night for a week?

I can tell you why. He made my room his. His dirty laundry on my floor. His wet towels on my bed. My bed was unmade with snot stains on the sheets. Everything I tried so hard to try to control was under no control of me.

I tried for some days to keep the bed made, the floor picked up, and the room under my control. But, I felt like a maid. I refused to clean up after him. I refused absolutely. This is his mess. He is twenty-one years old. He can handle this himself.

Quarantine turned out to last longer than just a week. It has been...I don't know how long it has been. But my brother has moved his TV and PS4 into the room. He uses my restroom...what started as me allowing him to sleep on a more suitable bed turned into me losing my whole room. The best room in the whole house. I have failed and it is nothing to celebrate.

Now we wait until quarantine ends so I may be able to reclaim what is rightfully mine.

(Do I really seriously care that much? No, not enough to cry. Enough to dump his dirty laundry over his room the same way he did to mine? Absolutely. But honestly, I do feel like I failed my resolution of keeping my room clean and starting adulthood with good habits.)